Two Cities Eye-Q Half-Marathon 2010!

This is a late post, and I didn't do a race recap for it. The Fitness and Health Expo for the event took place on 6 November, and the run was on 7 November. The most exciting aspect was that my hubby came with me! :) It was his first time seeing me run! Anyway, I did make a PR (personal record) on this one! I finished 13.1 miles in 2:13:10- WOOHOO! (Side note- I didn't have to wear my Team in Training jersey, but I thought it would be a great thing to wear just to promote awareness of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.)

Here are a few of the rad photos from the run:






To see more photos, check it out here: Two Cities Eye-Q Half-Marathon!

My next event is the 13.1 LA Half-Marathon on 16 January 2011! My goal is to do at least one half-marathon per month. That is, if something very special doesn't get in the way. And I hope it does; It's been a year of trying... and nothing. But yesterday, Kevin was sent to the lab. We'll cross out the possibility of him having any issues before coming back to me. :\

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"Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life." (Romans 8:5-6, MSG)

Nike Women's Marathon 2010!

I did it. I finished. I came, saw, and conquered.

16 October: Kevin dropped me off at Double Tree Inn at 550 AM. Everything was packed, everything was ready to go, and the team was excited. :) We piled into the bus, and headed to Visalia, where we picked up the rest of the Central California team. After a quick stop there, we kept going until we reached Patterson and had lunch. Then... next stop: SAN FRANCISCO! As we went over the Bay Bridge, the excitement was growing, until we finally stopped in front of the Hilton in the Civic Centre/Tenderloin district, where we had to contend with hardcore, extremely LOUD picketers. :| Fabbbbulous. Haha. After checking in with our assigned roommates (I stayed with Marti), we all headed to get our bibs/packets in Union Square. There were so many people that the line wrapped around the sidewalk, and local pedestrians seemed to be pretty annoyed. I think the highlight was getting to take a photo with the Haribo mascot though. Haha. Bib number: 18,163. Holy wow. Yeah, so I think there was actually MORE than the predicted 20,000 runners, too, because I saw some people with bib numbers that were in the 22,000 range... That night, we walked about 1.5 miles total in the cold wind to the Inspirational Dinner, where I nearly lost it because of the speaker who told her story of life after cancer took one of her six sisters Nancy. The other five sisters formed (with the speaker) Team Nancy in order to do Team in Training, and raised a ridiculous amount of money for the cause. It was just AWESOME. By the time we got back to our hotel room though, I was ready to go to bed. I set everything up so it'd be ready for tomorrow morning, and then hit the hay.

17 October: RACE DAY! There was a 30-50% chance of rain prediction and the temperature was going to be in the mid-upper 50s. I didn't think it'd be SO bad, though. We had to get up at 5 AM, in order to be down in the lobby at 545 AM to check any "post-run" clothes bags and be at the start line by 630-645 AM. There were SOOOO many people, and it was getting pretty claustrophobic... and then FINALLY, the mass of people started moving, slowly but surely. I was surprised that it only took me about 12 minutes to get to the start line, and when I did, I TOOK OFF. Talk about a beautiful course... seriously. I remember going by Pier 1. And past several landmarks that hearkened back to childhood Girl Scout field trips. I just felt a few rain drops, and smiled- phew, guess it would just be a light sprinkle like they had said on the Weather Channel, I thought. I was all smiles, despite the insane hills that I had NOT trained for or expected (I just thought there would be a few). I just kept on going until about mile 15. By that time, the rain was pouring down, my fingers had swollen to the point where I could not bend my fingers, and I was completely water-logged. Not only that, but the hills were seriously UNENDING... at least they were for this girl, who only incline trained two times in the last six months. :\ The rain and wind made it ice-cold, and when a San Francisco Team in Training coach noticed me, she stopped and asked if I was okay. In fact, I was not okay because I was having trouble breathing and was seeing grey. I was shaking and shivering so violently that I couldn't keep doing run/walk intervals, so I started power-walking at around mile 18. The coach poured a packet of salt onto the top of my hand, which I licked off, and then fished around in her bag that she had been carrying and handed me her jacket (which I could just barely move enough to get on). How cool of her to let me borrow it though, eh? Despite wanting to totally give up, and despite nearly passing out, I kept going as the rain (with sweat mixed in) poured down my face and into my eyes. I HAD to do this. I wanted to finish- I trained hard for this, even if I hadn't expected this weather or the massive hills. As I hit about mile 23, Katie and Elisa came up behind me, calling my name. It gave me that mental positivity boost that I needed so badly, as despite race-walking at a 13:30 pace, I was near tears from the pain and exhaustion and unbearable cold. To my surprise, they told me that they only knew of one other person from our team in front of me (who happened to be a seasoned ultra-marathoner and nearly reached elite status in her youth); I had been SURE that I would be the last full marathoner to cross the finish line, and everyone else would be back at the hotel already, celebrating their victory. Katie started walking with me around mile 24, but Elisa got this SURGE of adrenaline and ran the rest of the way to the end, where she finished 11 minutes before Katie and me- we crossed the finish line at 5 hours 45 minutes and 54 seconds. I shockingly ranked 4333rd out of 20,000+ runners, according to results site! I was bummed that I didn't hit my goal of 5 hours or less, but dang, considering the circumstances... I was happy just to finish. But yeah, the finish was not the best, considering the rain was still pouring down, and I was SO SO SO cold. I got my little blue Tiffany & Co raindrop-stained box, containing the NWM 2010 finisher's necklace from a drenched firefighter in a tuxedo, got the awesome finishing goody bag, and headed over to check in with the Team in Training folks. They handed me that "26.2" pin, and I realised just how big of an accomplishment it really was. I mean, 26 miles in a car takes you like... 30 minutes. That's like 1/3 of the way to LA from my house. DANG. I headed to get my checked clothes bag and, too cold to even change in one of the porta-potties, I headed to get on the shuttle back to the hotel. Seriously? It took forever to walk to that shuttle! Wish it had been closer, especially since everyone was drenched and so sore. We even had to walk up stairs and then up an inclined sidewalk! :| It took us around 30-45 minutes to get back to the hotel room on the shuttle, and as soon as I got back in the room, I hopped in that shower right away. It's amazing how much a run can beat you up. I had even gotten a big gash on my left boob from chafing of my headphones, which I stuck in my bra to keep them from flopping around after taking them off. That night, despite being so sore, Shawna, Susan, and I walked the nearly 1 mile to the Victory Party (first stopping at Juicy Couture and Old Navy, of course!). I ate dinner (ew, seriously? All they had was fried food- SERIOUSLY!), but afterwards, I was so ready to crash... so despite the fact that they were gonna dance and have entertainment, I walked back to the hotel room and fell asleep around around 8 PM. Haha.

18 October: After packing my still-wet clothes and shoes, we headed back home at around 930 AM, and I was so glad when we finally got back into town about 6.5 hours later. My hubby came to pick me up, and walked me over to the car... but... it wasn't our car. I thought: "Oh great, a rental car... what happened to the car now?!" since my car has been breaking down a lot. My husband kinda grinned sheepishly and said: "Do you like your new car?" He had actually bought me my first new car ever (first automatic too)- a Ford Fusion Hybrid 2010! (o_o) Can you believe it?! It freaked me out at first, but we had talked about it for a long time... I was just so shocked and amazed that he had taken the initiative to get it this weekend as a "sort-of post-marathon surprise present"! :) And it's good for the environment, too, eh?! :D I was really REALLY glad to get a massage yesterday (19 October) too!

All in all, despite the painful marathon experience, it was worth it to finish. :) I didn't reach my goal, but oh well, there are other marathons I can do, eh? For now, I'm back to being nervous/excited for the Two Cities Eye-Q half-marathon in Fresno on 7 November! I hope my legs are ready!!! :D

+Official Brightroom Photography site!
+My photos of the weekend!

Must. Keep. Going.

I didn't know where to start, honestly. I feel like I've been running, fulling blast and nonstop, for months now... both literally and physically. And my emotions are having a blast on unending rollercoaster rides. Argh! Even if I am sitting here on the couch, I know there are things to be done. The laundry is being washed and I should be getting ready for church in an hour.


On the work front: Still at the hospital, still in medical records, still full-time. It is tough to balance everything, and yet still go into work Monday through Friday, 8a-5p. But I do, and as much as I say this job is "not suited for me," I am so grateful for the fact that I can finally have fantastic insurance coverage (I was denied for 3.5 years due to previous issues) and amazing benefits, to boot. Since mid-April, I've been presented with so many social and personal challenges by my co-workers, whether intentionally or unconsciously. But yep, it's been just a couple weeks away from 6 months that I've been at the hospital. And fittingly, I got to check out the Kern County fair with my hubby because the hospital's employee picnic was held there on 28 September! :)

On the school side: California State University of Bakersfield (CSUB) is so extremely frustrating to deal with, and I was getting sick of all the hoops I was having to jump through. However, as mentioned before (I think?), I FINALLY finished all the paperwork... and am now officially enrolled in two individual study (no, not online courses) advanced French courses (Business French, French Civilisation). The reason for "individual study" is due to the fact that CSUB does not have a French major, and the only French classes they offer in their schedule/course manual are two beginning classes. So, how am I majoring in French? Well, I am doing the "special major in French" programme via the modern languages department, which means I will have to take 8 advanced courses on my own in order to finally finish up the French BA that I started at SJSU. Oh boy, oh boy. This quarter entails reading 10 business "cases," answering about 6-8 pages of questions about the reading material and translating about 4-5 paragraphs from French to English per case. That's just Business French. My other course is French Civilisation, and I haven't even gotten started; I will have to read two entire textbooks (yes, they're in French, of course) about French history (and civilisation, of course), then answer 2-4 questions per chapter, as well as come up with a research topic and write a 10-page term paper (not including the bibliography, and YES, it has to be in French) about it. Ahhh! I. CAN. DO. THIS. Right?

On the marathon training front: Our team is tapering now! After two previous long runs being absolutely AWFUL due to GI issues, I was really nervous about our 4-hour longest training run of the season on 25 September. I went to the doctor, and after she did multiple labs (four vials of blood taken!), 3 ultrasounds, and a urinalysis (I was supposed to do two stool cultures and an x-ray, too, but I just keep forgetting), I am just waiting to go over the results with her on 7 October. In the meantime, I've been "forced" by my body to start really scrutinising what I eat again. This is NOT easy for someone who just wants to pretend (I guess?) that food choices don't matter. After a decade and a half of restricting myself and putting a microscope up to everything I put in my mouth, I don't want to have to do this again! But I've also been taking Immodium and that helps too, and... gulp... I contacted my old dietitian and have an appointment with her on 13 October. I just hope she doesn't make comments on how different I look, because obviously, I look like an entirely different person after gaining 40 pounds! :\ But ANYWAY, I didn't mean to go off onto some rant, because the 4-hour run went GREAT. Yeah, it hurt soooo bad/good, but I did 20.1 miles in a total of 3 hours, 50 minutes (that's not including the long aid station break at mile 10), so it was pretty dang worth it. Afterward, most of the team gathered to toast our accomplishments in both fundraising (I'm only at around 70% though, and the rest is due in just a couple days! PLEASE... help?! Anything is appreciated!) for this amazing cause, as well as enduring this training season! The coaches brought some great grub and we all split a bottle of champagne (between us all, each of us only ended up with a small gulp)... and we got to meet a darling potential honoree for next season named Lucas! He's only 22 months, but is in remission from leukemia after being diagnosed at only 7 months old. Wow, I cannot imagine how difficult this would be as new parents, but that's why the Team in Training's fundraising for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS) is so important. (Man, running has really helped me learn and grow!) Not to mention, I've gained friends who appreciate an active lifestyle! Oddly enough, my massage therapist Gina Nathan is the mother of one of our current honorees Bryna, who was diagnosed with cancer at age 3- she's in 3rd or 4th grade now, thanks to the financial support of the LLS! :D

I feel like I've left a lot out, but I'm running out of time. I've just got 15 minutes to get ready for church! ;P Take care, everyone, and oh... I <3 comments/feedback! Share my blog with friends! Heehee. You don't mind if I leave you with these awesome verses, re-translated in the Message Bible, do you?

You've all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You're after one that's gold eternally. I don't know about you, but I'm running hard for the finish line. I'm giving it everything I've got. No sloppy living for me! I'm staying alert and in top condition. I'm not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself (1 Corinthians 9:24-27).

Santa Rosa Half-Marathon Recap.

Ack! It really has been too long since I've posted here. Why? Because I have been working 40 hours a week at the hospital still (did I mention that I was hired full-time and I now have medical benefits for the first time in 3.5 years?!) AND training hardcore for the Nike Women's Marathon with Team in Training. I am literally exhausted by the time I get home, and there is still the issue of the eating disorder. I haven't lost any weight, but heaven knows every ounce in my body wants to. My eating habits are not balanced, that's for sure, but as Kevin put it: "You really need this running thing, don't you?" It's no longer this obsessive thing like it was, really. Yes, I get kinda crazy sometimes, but I have found that I have grown tremendously through my teammates.

On that note, one of my friends/teammates Marti and I went up to Santa Rosa (about a five hour drive north), and ran in the half-marathon there. I wrote a recap about it at Daily Mile, so... allow me to share! :)

Marti and I drove up the day before (Saturday, 28 August), which took us around 5 hours. Of course, luck should have it that Marti's beloved Kohl's was just across the street from our hotel, so we decided to walk over there and we both ended up getting new sports tops (of course! What else?!)...

On race day (Sunday, 29 August), we woke up at 530 AM, and after Marti turned on the TV, she happened to stop on this HILARIOUS music video (on public access or something)... After nearly puking from laughing so hard, we hear this BANGBANGBANG on the wall, and we realise that overnight, we had gained a neighbour in the room next door! OOPS! Of course, that led to more stifled laughing. Could you imagine what that poor person was thinking, after a night of silence, and then suddenly waking up to two chicks laughing loudly and singing "It's the weekend and it's time to PARTY!" loudly to a music video?!

We got in the car around 615 AM, and started looking around to find the starting line. Ruh-roh, we really should have scoped out the area the night before. OOPS! But we made it with plenty of time, and in fact, it was super chilly (or maybe it's because we are both so used to the 112-degree heat here in Bakersfield!) and overcast... so we WANTED to get the show on the road.

The gun popped at around 705 AM, and we were off... like a herd of turtles (turd of hurdles?). I know that 528 people isn't that many (in comparison to, say, the Nike Women's Marathon that we are both training for), but it felt like we were walking forever before we hit the starting line. I'll admit, I went out too ferociously. I did not stick to intervals, I pushed myself, and I didn't want to walk. I wanted to beat the chick in front of me, I wanted to prove myself, I wanted to be the best. Also, I'll be honest: we were quite ridiculous, considering we were the only ones who had our external speaker/mini-boombox along with us. Ahaha, I have no doubt that there were more than just a few people who were annoyed as heck that they had to run to Lady Gaga remixes, Shiny Toy Guns, and cardio versions of Abba hits. :P

About halfway through, Marti couldn't take my shenanigans anymore and handed the boombox over to me, telling me that she needed to fuel up and walk a little. :\ Sorry, Marti... So I ran on ahead... For the next several miles, I just felt drained. About half of the course was trail (which I have never run on), so many of us had to dodge big stones (and with me, I already have floppy, loose ankles, so the rolling shoulders on the gravelly path did not help any). In fact, one woman ended up slipping and put a big gouge in her head. While passing, I looked down at her (and someone who had already stopped to help her) and asked if they needed water, because her head, arms, and legs were covered with blood! YIKES!

My legs went on auto-pilot, but in the last 2-3 miles, I could feel my courage slipping. It was cool, though, because the full marathoners, who did the 13.1 mile loop twice, were running by and a couple people reassured me that I was "almost there."

This was a milestone for me. Yes, I've run more than 13.1 miles. Yes, I've run at a faster pace. But this is the second (and definitely significantly largest) event I've ever done, with my first being that "Celebrate CSUB" 5K I posted about so long ago...

I ran a 10:23 per mile pace, finishing in 2 hours, 16 minutes, and 5 seconds. I finished 350 out of 528 half-marathoners. Not exactly the winner, but I see it as a victory! Just 4 days before, I thought I had a stress fracture because it was too painful to run (though it turned out to "just" be a bone contusion/mild tendinosis instead). 10 months ago, I weighed 35 pounds less and was near death after years of suffering from anorexia nervosa/obligatory exercise addiction. 8 years ago, I was told that I wasn't good enough for track after attempting only a semester in high school. 16 years ago, I was told that I had too much energy, was "too obnoxious," and began to restrict my food intake to dull my senses...

On that note, let me leave you with this:

I might not praise Him enough, but...
+God changes and restores the body, mind, heart, soul (Romans 12:1-2, 1 Peter 1:13, Psalm 51:10, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 4:16).
+He can turn back the clock and give you back that lost or stolen time (Joel 2:25).
+He is Jehovah Rapha, the Healing God (Matthew 8:17, James 5:14-15, 2 Sam. 22:1-7, Ezekiel 34:16).
+He will bring positive, healthy, honest, Godly friendships into your life, if you ask/let Him (Philippians 1:3-8; Proverbs 17:17,18:24, 27:5-6; Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
+He assures us that we are already victorious, we've already won, and we CAN keep running... all through JESUS CHRIST (1 John 2; 1 Timothy 4:8, 6:12; 2 Timothy 4:7-8; 1 Corinthians 9:24-25; Philippians 3:12; Hebrews 12:1-3, Isaiah 40:31)!

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And lastly, this was the porta-potty line before the event! HAHA!

The Santa Rosa Half/Full Marathon website
Race results
Photos from the event
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Book Review: "Gaining" by Aimee Liu.

First and foremost- do not assume that the book jacket cover photography portrays the content inside. (What's the cliche I'm looking for? Oh, that's right... "Never judge a book by its cover!")

"Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders" by Aimee Liu is deep, and occasionally dark, unlike what the artwork might suggest. After two weeks of struggling to read 2/3 of this book, I had to return it to the library. It's definitely some very dense reading material, and is definitely geared more towards those who have struggled for years with disordered eating and eating disorders in their adolescence and young adulthood (only to find that, despite perhaps learning how to semi-function in their 20s-30s or older, they still exist with distorted views of themselves and/or their eating patterns).

I found myself truly relating to the novel research and studies Liu writes about, as well as the countless accounts of fellow eating disordered men and women. Two things really shocked me: 1) She interviewed Dr Michael Strober from the UCLA Eating Disorders program, who was my psychiatrist while in residential treatment at a different facility in the Southern California area (and who I found utterly impossible to relate to, as he came off as a total "know-it-all"), and 2) Liu tells the story of a man from Bakersfield, CA (where I live and grew up)! It was just neat to read that someone ELSE has the courage to talk about eating disorders in Kern County, of which Bakersfield is the "seat."

Yeah, it was a tough read. It was a mind-frying read. It was a slightly disappointing read (since she didn't really delve into how the people she interviewed who HAD actually been hospitalised/in treatment dealt with the "outside world"). But nevertheless, it was a psych buff's dream, so to speak.

"Siren Call."

---> Snap. Awake. Eyes adjust.
Zoom in, focus, zoom out, focus.
Ears acute, hard swallow...
Dry, dairy, dribble.
Snap. Light on. Eyes burst into flame.
Squint, dare to open, see...
Peaceful sleep from co-conspirator.
Tempting calls of "real world,"
echoing rubber on cold asphalt,
spinning tires, speaking, squealing,
roaming down freeways,
free at four-fourty.

---> I miss that calling to roam (oh, yes, I do),
that unceasing appetite to search and seek,
but God gave me a clarity of mind
to see life as a spring to live instead of
a tedious leak.
So battle wages in the tempted heart,
against the lustful cries of early-rising worker bees.
And on the bulletin board of the enemy,
I am easily overcome...
but not with my Father
(who I call the "Great He")
by my side.

---> I close my eyes. Flip. Switch. Dark.
Mind grips prayers here, there, flitting phrases,
Rumbling of belly, waiting to be fed, and,
Pounding of a mending heart,
slowly
being
saited.
Praise Him. Honour Him. TRUST Him.

(Written at Mercy Ministries on 22 October 2009, 440 AM.)

Who am I?

I am too ambitious, too loud, too competitive, too vocal, too much. I mess up... a lot. I have a tragic past, which one could assume would make my future look grim. I've hurt people. I've hurt myself. I get angry, sad, jealous, lonely... even a little crazy. I sleep too much or too little, eat too much or too little, give too much or too little, want too much or too little. I get addicted too quickly, and take too long to get "sober." I have definitely been what most could and would call a "screw-up."

But...
"We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he's already a friend with you.

'How?' you ask. IN CHRIST. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God."

Pretty cool, eh? :)
♥
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Bible verse: 2 Corinthians 5:16-21, MSG