It's been way too long since I last blogged. But there has just been way too much to do, and too little time to sit down and write a proper post. However, I keep feeling that it must be important to write about God's calling on my life. It's like, there has been that nagging feeling, saying that I truly need to ask myself, to dig deep to find what it is that I really WANT to do with myself. And not only that, but the same inspirational and motivational chapter of the Bible keeps coming up recently-
1 Samuel 17. (Please click the link to read this chapter, if you haven't already. Don't worry! It will open in a new window!)
We had already read about David in our Bible Study group, but then last week,
Pastor James talked about God's unique call on every person's life... and mentioned that chapter in the Bible yet again. When you think of David's foe, who do you think of? Goliath, right? Well, that's just the obvious answer. But honestly, I think David's main opposition were the people that were supposed to be sticking up for him. "Okay," you say, "Who is this opposition, if it's not Goliath, then?"
1) David's dad Jesse. Yep, that's right- his dad. David was the youngest son and, unlike his brothers, tended to the family's flock of goats and sheep. His dad just couldn't see him being able to take down Goliath, let alone any powerful warrior.
2) His older brother Eliab. This guy was a trained warrior, and was not going to let the baby of the family "1-up" him by fighting Goliath. He didn't even want his brother hanging out with his warrior buddies!
3) King Saul. First of all, the king isn't even close to convinced into letting David fight Goliath, because David's just "too young and inexperienced." David counters his assumptions by explaining how he has protected his flock from predators, and though King Saul finally hesitantly allows David to take on Goliath, he unintentionally tries to burden David with heavy ill-fitted armour.
And of course, there is Goliath, who mocks and curses David out. What I like is that all throughout this chapter, despite people judging him by his age, his stature, his experience, and his lifestyle, David sticks to what he knows
God has anointed him to do. As Pastor James said, "In order to pursue God's calling on your life, you have to pursue God's calling even when others try to put 'lids' on you." What's more is that David knew that he was only able to slay Goliath because that was God's will; it was God that gave him the strength to do it, despite the odds!
What does this have to do with my life? Well, here's the deal- I honestly feel like God has called me to do something ACTIVE for a living. I grew up with ADHD (constant, nonstop energy ball!), battled severe anorexia nervosa which entailed overexercising/restricting/extremely low body weight, was asked to do a Pilates demonstration video for my college instructor in college up north (so she could show it to future students as she was older and was unable to do the more challenging poses anymore), and as of this month, everything lined up for me to join
Team in Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society! (Please click the link to visit my training page and support my efforts!) To me, although many people think they sound like horrible "signs" of God's calling on my life, I see these few examples as proof. And... I consider those people similar to the pre-Goliath-slaying obstacles that David encountered. Unlike David, though, a lot of times I begin to doubt my abilities, doubt myself, doubt that I have heard God's promptings properly. Even now, I feel awkward and pompous by proclaiming that "I think I might just know what God's call for my life is." David knew who he was, according to God, and was not swayed one little bit by his opposition. And that is why I find 1 Samuel 17 to be an extremely motivating, inspirational, and meaningful chapter at this moment...
So, on that note, I want to just come out and say it here, despite the fact that I know a lot of people will be doubtful and hesitant to accept my innermost urgings: I have been truly thinking about becoming
ACE-certified in fitness, as a personal trainer and/or group instructor. I would just love it if any of you "following" my blog who are fitness gurus could give me any advice (especially ways to save money when it comes to getting the study materials!), opinions, etc!
In the meantime, I am going to continue to battle it out with my fears, and make the conscious and never-ending effort to do everything for the glory of God. Even as I am training for the Nike Women's Marathon on the 17 October with
Team in Training (TNT), I am reminded of two things:
1) Paul's letter to Timothy, advising him that "physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come" (
1 Timothy 4:8).
2) Two quotes from the based-on-a-true-story character named Eric Liddell ("
Chariots of Fire"), who explains how God has fashioned his passion for running by saying, "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure... I want to compare faith to running in a race. It's hard. It requires concentration of will, energy of soul... I have no formula for winning the race. Everyone runs in her own way, or his own way. And where does the power come from, to see the race to its end? From within. Jesus said, 'Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. If with all your hearts, you truly seek me, you shall ever surely find me.' If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race."
I forgot to mention that I was hired on at the hospital as an actual employee. I'll be doing the same job, but now I'll be "on the books," so to speak! I am only considered "per diem" (though I'll be working full-time!), though, so no benefits. That's okay! All in good time, just like the fitness certification. I'll keep you all updated on whether or not that door stays open, but I would love any advice on getting certified, all the same!
I'll leave you with a recent photo of two my of
TNT teammates (I'm in the middle), just after we had finished our first 5K as a team:
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References:
-Title paraphrased from a quote by Steven Graves.
-Bible verses taken from The Message Bible and The New Living Translation Bible.
I am too ambitious, too loud, too competitive, too vocal, too much. I mess up... a lot. I have a tragic past, which one could assume would make my future look grim. I've hurt people. I've hurt myself. I get angry, sad, jealous, lonely... even a little crazy. I sleep too much or too little, eat too much or too little, give too much or too little, want too much or too little. I get addicted too quickly, and take too long to get "sober." I have definitely been what most could and would call a "screw-up."
