Who am I?

I am too ambitious, too loud, too competitive, too vocal, too much. I mess up... a lot. I have a tragic past, which one could assume would make my future look grim. I've hurt people. I've hurt myself. I get angry, sad, jealous, lonely... even a little crazy. I sleep too much or too little, eat too much or too little, give too much or too little, want too much or too little. I get addicted too quickly, and take too long to get "sober." I have definitely been what most could and would call a "screw-up."

But...
"We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don't look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing. We're Christ's representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them. We're speaking for Christ himself now: Become friends with God; he's already a friend with you.

'How?' you ask. IN CHRIST. God put the wrong on him who never did anything wrong, so we could be put right with God."

Pretty cool, eh? :)
♥
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Bible verse: 2 Corinthians 5:16-21, MSG

"A Calling": A Personalised Invitation from God to Work on His Agenda, Using my Talents to Make an Eternal Impact.

It's been way too long since I last blogged. But there has just been way too much to do, and too little time to sit down and write a proper post. However, I keep feeling that it must be important to write about God's calling on my life. It's like, there has been that nagging feeling, saying that I truly need to ask myself, to dig deep to find what it is that I really WANT to do with myself. And not only that, but the same inspirational and motivational chapter of the Bible keeps coming up recently- 1 Samuel 17. (Please click the link to read this chapter, if you haven't already. Don't worry! It will open in a new window!)

We had already read about David in our Bible Study group, but then last week, Pastor James talked about God's unique call on every person's life... and mentioned that chapter in the Bible yet again. When you think of David's foe, who do you think of? Goliath, right? Well, that's just the obvious answer. But honestly, I think David's main opposition were the people that were supposed to be sticking up for him. "Okay," you say, "Who is this opposition, if it's not Goliath, then?"

1) David's dad Jesse. Yep, that's right- his dad. David was the youngest son and, unlike his brothers, tended to the family's flock of goats and sheep. His dad just couldn't see him being able to take down Goliath, let alone any powerful warrior.
2) His older brother Eliab. This guy was a trained warrior, and was not going to let the baby of the family "1-up" him by fighting Goliath. He didn't even want his brother hanging out with his warrior buddies!
3) King Saul. First of all, the king isn't even close to convinced into letting David fight Goliath, because David's just "too young and inexperienced." David counters his assumptions by explaining how he has protected his flock from predators, and though King Saul finally hesitantly allows David to take on Goliath, he unintentionally tries to burden David with heavy ill-fitted armour.

And of course, there is Goliath, who mocks and curses David out. What I like is that all throughout this chapter, despite people judging him by his age, his stature, his experience, and his lifestyle, David sticks to what he knows God has anointed him to do. As Pastor James said, "In order to pursue God's calling on your life, you have to pursue God's calling even when others try to put 'lids' on you." What's more is that David knew that he was only able to slay Goliath because that was God's will; it was God that gave him the strength to do it, despite the odds!

What does this have to do with my life? Well, here's the deal- I honestly feel like God has called me to do something ACTIVE for a living. I grew up with ADHD (constant, nonstop energy ball!), battled severe anorexia nervosa which entailed overexercising/restricting/extremely low body weight, was asked to do a Pilates demonstration video for my college instructor in college up north (so she could show it to future students as she was older and was unable to do the more challenging poses anymore), and as of this month, everything lined up for me to join Team in Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society! (Please click the link to visit my training page and support my efforts!) To me, although many people think they sound like horrible "signs" of God's calling on my life, I see these few examples as proof. And... I consider those people similar to the pre-Goliath-slaying obstacles that David encountered. Unlike David, though, a lot of times I begin to doubt my abilities, doubt myself, doubt that I have heard God's promptings properly. Even now, I feel awkward and pompous by proclaiming that "I think I might just know what God's call for my life is." David knew who he was, according to God, and was not swayed one little bit by his opposition. And that is why I find 1 Samuel 17 to be an extremely motivating, inspirational, and meaningful chapter at this moment...

So, on that note, I want to just come out and say it here, despite the fact that I know a lot of people will be doubtful and hesitant to accept my innermost urgings: I have been truly thinking about becoming ACE-certified in fitness, as a personal trainer and/or group instructor. I would just love it if any of you "following" my blog who are fitness gurus could give me any advice (especially ways to save money when it comes to getting the study materials!), opinions, etc!

In the meantime, I am going to continue to battle it out with my fears, and make the conscious and never-ending effort to do everything for the glory of God. Even as I am training for the Nike Women's Marathon on the 17 October with Team in Training (TNT), I am reminded of two things:

1) Paul's letter to Timothy, advising him that "physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come" (1 Timothy 4:8).
2) Two quotes from the based-on-a-true-story character named Eric Liddell ("Chariots of Fire"), who explains how God has fashioned his passion for running by saying, "I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure... I want to compare faith to running in a race. It's hard. It requires concentration of will, energy of soul... I have no formula for winning the race. Everyone runs in her own way, or his own way. And where does the power come from, to see the race to its end? From within. Jesus said, 'Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. If with all your hearts, you truly seek me, you shall ever surely find me.' If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race."

I forgot to mention that I was hired on at the hospital as an actual employee. I'll be doing the same job, but now I'll be "on the books," so to speak! I am only considered "per diem" (though I'll be working full-time!), though, so no benefits. That's okay! All in good time, just like the fitness certification. I'll keep you all updated on whether or not that door stays open, but I would love any advice on getting certified, all the same!

I'll leave you with a recent photo of two my of TNT teammates (I'm in the middle), just after we had finished our first 5K as a team:


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References:
-Title paraphrased from a quote by Steven Graves.
-Bible verses taken from The Message Bible and The New Living Translation Bible.

I Stumbled Upon This One.

Well, as some of you know, I am currently nursing a sprained ankle. That means... no cycling, no running, close to no walking. I am, as they say, a gimp.

That also means that the "Stumble Upon" button has been getting quite a workout, instead. Out of sheer boredom, I happened upon this gem. Allow me to share!

(PS: The little cartoon up there is supposed to be of a computer mouse walking on a treadmill. Get it?)

"Dad, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" by Stacey Thornberry

That was the subject of an e-mail I recently received from my roommate. She doesn’t typically send “forwards,” so I knew it had to be good. And, oh, I had no idea!

Here are some of my favorites from the e-mail, with some commentary. There were many more I enjoyed, but some weren’t entirely “blog appropriate”…

“I wish Google Maps had an ‘Avoid Ghetto’ routing option.”
Seriously! I remember moving to San Francisco, I had my roommate draw me a “safe” route to walk to work because I had no idea where the boundaries for the Tenderloin were.

“More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.”
This reminded me of a few people in my life. I pointed out this trait to one of them; I was surprised by how shocked they were to hear they did this. At least when I do it, I tend to be aware that I’m trying to be a one-upper.

“Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.”

“Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.”
Yes! Why do we care so much?

“Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the ‘people you may know’ feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?”
I find myself clicking the little “x” that will make these people disappear. And doesn’t it always feel creepy when someone sends you a friend request and Facebook tells you “Sherry Fredster found you using People You May Know.”?

“Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in the U.S. did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no Internet or message boards or FAQs. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.”
How did we know that? How did we do so much before the Internet?

“There is a great need for sarcasm font.”
If you know me, you know how often I use sarcasm. So, hopefully, when we communicate electronically, you know when I’m being sarcastic. But it can take years to cultivate that relationship to where someone knows without being told that no, I wasn’t serious, I was using a sophisticated sense of humor (or, as someone on urbandictionary.com says, sarcasm is “used sometimes in order to belittle someone and make them seem stupid…or equally to amuse and impress them with your mind.” - you decide). I could avoid many miscommunication snafus if I had a sarcasm font.

“I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.”
My list off the top of my head: Mean Girls (I love you, Tina Fey), Little Miss Sunshine (Steve Carrell, you genius), Knocked Up (Judd Apatow, what did we do without you?), Thank You for Smoking (just ignore Katie Holmes - this is a fantastic satire).

“The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.”

“LOL has gone from meaning, ‘laugh out loud’ to ‘I have nothing else to say.’”
I think this captures why I’ve come to despise “LOL.” My best friend and I often discuss how much we hate “LOL” and are much more “haha” people. Who knew we could be categorized as such? One caveat: I love when my senior vice president uses it. Side note: My dad uses “LOL” to mean “Little Old Lady.” How times have changed.

“I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.”
For years, I’ve told people, “When I’m bored, I either sleep or I eat.”

“Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.”
Remember thinking, “There are three C’s in a row. That can’t be right. I must have answered one wrong!” and then second guessing yourself and agonizing over the pattern that had appeared on your Scantron?

“Whenever someone says ‘I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart,’ all I hear is ‘I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart.’”

“How many times is it appropriate to say ‘What?’ before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?”

“While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it….thanks, Mario Kart.”

“Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.”

“Bad decisions make good stories.”
Oh, so true.

“Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!”

“You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.”

“Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.”
Please, please, please…let’s join forces and resist any new technology so I don’t have to waste my money on some new format.

“I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Microsoft Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.”

“I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Ugh!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?”
I have one friend I do this with constantly. I never understand how this actually happens! Ridiculously frustrating.

“I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.”
That just happened to me the other day.

“I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.”
Exactly. Then, I just don’t want to hear classical music or the thousands of They Might Be Giants songs I downloaded because I saw them in concert once or the Broadway showtunes that litter my playlists. Skip, skip, skip.

“Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.”
How is that possible? I do it and I still don’t know.

“I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.”

“It really irritates me when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.”

“The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat glutton before dinner.”
This happened to me when I ordered room service in Phoenix. I ordered chocolate covered strawberries and a chocolate lava cake. The room service staff member asked, “Is this for two?” I said, “No, just me…” And I ate it all.

And the one that inspired the title of the e-mail:

“My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day, ‘Dad, what would happen if you ran over a ninja?’ How on earth do I respond to that?”

Hope you got a giggle out of this. :)

Oh DANG, I need to update!

Since I last updated, so much has gone down. I've now worked at San Joaquin Community Hospital for a full month, celebrated my 24th birthday (my mom gifted me with a brand new Specialized Sirrus hybrid bike!), planted a bunch of new fruits and veggies in our garden, volunteered at the 5th Annual Bike Bakersfield Downtown Criterium bike race, and today we celebrate my husband's 25th birthday! Isn't it crazy that I've known him for 10 years? :)

My work badge.

Taking a break after my ride out to Enos Lane on my new bike.

Our new Asian pear tree.

Registration for the Downtown Criterium.

The funny Facebook event profile photo for our group birthday party.

At any rate, I'll be honest- it has NOT been easy. I have had a lot of doubts, ups and downs, and been overwhelmed with really negative feelings. But isn't that life? Life just is not perfect, nor is it full of excitement and novelty every single day. I'm just thankful to God that I am able to walk out of this...

One Fruit I Forget to Eat...

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control..." (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)

I need to focus more. In this world, it is certainly easy to let my mind wander- "Wouldn't it be nice if I had...?" Jesus said it was simple: Just keep your eyes on the Father, and your nose stuck in His Word (not in other peoples' business!), and the fruit of the Spirit would just naturally emanate from you.

The other day, I was commenting that I "need to remember" that patience is a Godly trait. My friend Daniel reassured me with this: "We sometimes think about the fruits of the Spirit as things we need to work on, but in reality the analogy the apostle Paul was making is that these things just naturally flow out of our relationship with Christ, because the grower doesn't try to make fruit appear on his tree; he has to focus on the tree itself (the relationship with Christ) and the bearing fruit follows when that is healthy."

At any rate, you and I should realise that our growth as Christians is a journey- not to arrive at perfection, but to get to know the Perfect One more intimately.

So why am I talking about patience being something I'm lacking? Well...drumroll, please... I GOT A JOB! On Monday, I started working at San Joaquin Community Hospital in the Health Information Management (HIM) department. I work as a "Document Imaging Specialist" from 1 - 930 PM, Monday through Friday.

But what does this mean? Here is the job description:

Summary of Duties-
The Health Information Management Document Imaging Specialist is responsible for preparing the medical records to maximize scanning efficiency. This position is also responsible for prepping and scanning all paper documents into the electronic document imaging system according to established procedures, guidelines, and productivity standards. The Document Imaging Specialist must understand the validation and completion of the Quality Control process, ensuring the integrity and legality of the EHR. This position is responsible for reviewing scanned documents for overall image quality and the accuracy of indices assigned during the scanning process as well as according to the time-frame requirements. Also responsible for the maintenance and preservation of confidential patient records. Conducts analysis of the electronic medical record for quantitative and qualitative completeness based on Medical Staff Rules and Regulations, State, The Joint Commission, and Federal Guidelines. Also responsible for the retrieval and filing of old paper records required for patient care, audits, release of information and other health care operation purposes.

Qualifications Requirements-
+1 year experience in a health information management position preferred
+Ability to communicate effectively (verbally and written)
+Ability to adapt to a rapid change in both internal and external environments
+Works well with others in a team-orientated environment, including support of other co-workers’ job duties in a manner that further advances the goals and objectives of the whole organization
+Ability to work independently and perform effectively in a fast-paced, high-growth, rapidly changing environment

Now, this is all very new to me. You might have noticed that it says "experience in a HIM position preferred." Well, because I do NOT have that kind of experience (just experience in general office tasks), the last two days have been spent learning like crazy. I've found myself lacking patience with myself, I start up with the self-deprecation... and man, that just makes the work day miserable. I spent the first half of Monday really getting down on myself because I kept making little mistakes (well, duh, it's my first day!). After meeting Kevin for my dinner break, I decided that I was going to be positive, even if I mess up- and, can I just say, that made all the difference. Day two went by a lot quicker, and I wasn't so hard on myself. Like I mentioned above, this is NOT a journey to perfection! ;P

Anyway, I am really glad to be alive right now. I'm enjoying getting out on the bike, but most of all, I'm loving spending time with my mom (who has been coming out on rides with me). On Sunday, we went on a 25-mile ride, but on our way back, we stopped at the Elephant Bar for some snacks and something to drink. It was nice spending the day with her...and even the evening, because she has started coming with me to church! :) I tell you what, though- our "in-betweeners" (as my mom calls them) were certainly very sore! Haha.

Well, day 3 at work starts in a few hours. (Happy Administrative Professionals Day, as a side note!) I am looking forward to all that I learn today. What are YOU looking forward to today? ;)

Rest in Peace, Cousin Richard.

A couple weeks ago, I mentioned the death of my 48-year-old cousin Richard. Well, I thought I would share an article that the Sacramento Press recently wrote in his honour. In short, my cousin almost single-handedly prevented the beautiful and historic Sacramento Memorial Auditorium from being remade into a more "modern" theatre. Though he struggled with his own demons, he was truly a man who made an impact in his community. If you need anymore proof, just check out some of the community's comments (at the end of the article)! (Just a side-note: the photo to your left is of Richard back in 1987, I believe, playing with little baby me. Teehee!)
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Advocate for Memorial Auditorium Dies
by Kathleen Haley, published on April 8, 2010 at 8:05PM

A community activist who was at the center of a campaign to maintain Sacramento’s historic Memorial Auditorium has died.

Richard LaVoie of Sacramento died April 2 from heart failure. He was 48.

LaVoie was the organizer of a campaign in the early 1990s to renovate Memorial Auditorium while staying true to its original design, said Bob Rakela, a member of the nonprofit group Friends of Sacramento Memorial Auditorium.

Today, the interior of the building looks impressive, Rakela said. And that’s largely because of LaVoie’s efforts and his fight to “keep it in its original configuration,” he added.

LaVoie pushed for passage of Measure H, the 1992 ballot initiative that successfully prevented the city from carrying out a plan to remake the auditorium into a fixed-seat theater, said Richard Clowdus, a member of the nonprofit group.

LaVoie was committed to preserving the auditorium as a “historic treasure,” Clowdus said.

Noelle Young is also a member of the nonprofit organization that LaVoie founded. “He was a very unique individual, and his loss was huge,” Young said. “He was a wonderful person -- very inspiring in a quiet way.”

Joanne LaVoie, Richard LaVoie’s mother, said phone calls have been pouring in from people who knew him. “I had so many people calling; I don’t believe it,” she said. “It’s just fantastic.”

The graveside service will be held at Sierra Hills Memorial Park and East Lawn Mortuary in Citrus Heights at 2 p.m. April 20, said Joanne LaVoie. After the service, a catered reception will be held at the Sierra Hills Reception Hall, she said. Sierra Hills Memorial Park is located at 5757 Greenback Lane. The public is invited to attend the services.

Honesty Time...

Man, I'll be honest: Being an "on-fire-for-God" Christian is HARD. You might be saying, "Oh, come on, Lily- how hard is it to love God, go to church every Sunday, and read the Bible?" Well, for those of you who don't know, I used to be a hardcore, ready-to-throw-down, staunch atheist. I was one of those kids, at age 10, on the playground telling kids they were stupid for going to church with their parents. Thank God (like, seriously) that I am not that person anymore, but I was not saved until after I was married to an atheist and had multiple friends who were also vocally atheist. So, yes, I am struggling with that- but I praise the Lord that I have Him to walk me through it, placing Godly people in my life.

On that note, I will also be honest and say that it's really difficult to move on with my life and just live free of my "defining" past of anorexia. Even Godly friends/family members, who understand the concept of 2 Corinthians 5:17 will start getting "worried" about how much I am enjoying bike riding. I have to say, though- God is so freakin' awesome. I was flipping through one of my Bibles during an evening where people were especially coming against me (I had three friends attack my beliefs, and family members expressing unnecessary concern about me to the point that, I don't like to admit, I started doubting my own healing), and I guess I had dog-earred these verses; the pages immediately jumped out of my hands and to Job 33:19-30 (The Message version):

God might get their attention through pain,
by throwing them on a bed of suffering,
So they can't stand the sight of food,
have no appetite for their favorite treats.
They lose weight, wasting away to nothing,
reduced to a bag of bones.
They hang on the cliff-edge of death,
knowing the next breath may be their last.

"But even then an angel could come,
a champion —there are thousands of them!—
to take up your cause,
A messenger who would mercifully intervene,
canceling the death sentence with the words:
'I've come up with the ransom!'
Before you know it, you're healed,
the very picture of health!

"Or, you may fall on your knees and pray— to God's delight!
You'll see God's smile and celebrate,
finding yourself set right with God.
You'll sing God's praises to everyone you meet,
testifying, 'I messed up my life—
and let me tell you, it wasn't worth it.
But God stepped in and saved me from certain death.
I'm alive again! Once more I see the light!'

"This is the way God works.
Over and over again
He pulls our souls back from certain destruction
so we'll see the light—and live in the light!

Seriously?! I mean, WOW. If there is one thing (and really, there are MANY things) I have learned over the last six months, it's that God gives us hope for and direction in ALL circumstances! Yeah...wow.