24 September 2009

Documentation.

I've always documented my body- it's ups, it's downs, it's clay-like morphing before the mirror. Every time I gain, lose, maintain, the way the fat and muscle lay is different.

I don't take photos anymore, and I haven't for over a year. But today I felt compelled to, just so I have a reference. Will I come back, and look at those photos like an outsider (as I always do when it comes to living as me)? Or will I just go back to the being the sculptor, my skeletal remains as the clay?

I want to be able to be in my body, not a skeptical and disgusted purveyor of rotten goods. And if I were honest, I want to be able to vanish from sight, disappear from view, eradicate myself from the planet... like a white-board marker scribble being erased with one fell wipe.

1 comment:

  1. Lily, I hope you never return to this body state or state of mind

    ReplyDelete

Gimme some love! <3